The term “defense mechanisms” refers to a strategy we use to protect ourselves from physical or psychological pain and discomfort. Using defense mechanisms is a normal and adaptive function. However, using them automatically and without reflection can cause trouble.

Think of the classic “Freudian slip” where someone says one thing, but meant another. The person may have subconsciously revealed something they didn’t mean to expose. Imagine having a great time on a date with your partner and they call you by an exes name. You would be hard pressed to believe it meant nothing. A small part of you would likely worry they are still thinking about them. 

Part of my work as a therapist is to help people understand themselves and the people around them. And understanding common defense mechanisms can lead to a better understanding of yourself and the people you interact with.

Below are a list of common defense mechanisms we often work through in therapy:

Projection

Projection occurs when we notice something on the outside when it is really coming from the inside.

Since we can never truly know what someone is thinking or feeling, we rely on projection to make our best guess. When the projection is distorted, it can create problems.

Projection is very common. Maybe you’ve heard a cliche to describe it such as the pot calling the kettle black.

How do you see projection play out in your life?

An example of projection would be a husband accusing his wife of cheating while constantly checking up on her when she is out with her friends having a good time. A few months later, the wife realizes the husband has been having a year-long affair.

Positives of Projection

Projection is not all bad. Projection is in fact how babies communicate.

Since babies do not have the ability to speak, they use their cries to project their feelings to a mother or father. For a parent, it is extremely difficult to listen to your baby cry. You feel the need to act because you and your baby now feel awful. Parents quickly uncover how different cries mean different things. 

Introjection

Introjection is the flip side of projection. Introjection is where something feels like it is coming from inside when it really started from the outside.

Have you ever noticed how someone can move to a new part of the country and begin to speak in the same accent and use local phrases without realizing it? That is introjection.

When a team wins a world championship, the fans cheer “WE are #1!”, though they did nothing to help achieve the win.

Introjection can be damaging when we absorb people’s negativity and believe it’s coming from inside us. People often feel like they were the problem child or scapegoat in their family. When in reality, the family unit was dysfunctional and its members projected their badness into the child and the child began to believe them.

Denial

As the saying goes, “There’s no I in denial!”

Denial is a common defense mechanism generally understood by people.

Extreme forms of denial show up in addiction when someone believe they can quit anytime they want, but never do.

Reversal

Another way to deal with discomfort is by switching roles. This often shows up by reversing the feeling of the powerless to the powerful.

A helpful form of reversal is volunteering and altruism.

Reversal can show up as becoming angry when discussing a situation that would typically warrant a feeling of sadness.  The moment someone begins to feel helpless and vulnerable, they reverse into a more powerful and hyper-independent state. This response can come from a place of being emotionally neglected. Reversal is a way to protect yourself from being betrayed.

Regression

Regression occurs when someone begins to backslide from their current state. It is a normal process for a child to whine and scream and cry when they are hungry or tired. For adults, they may go back to their families after attaining a sense of achievement. It is normal to ask for comfort or want to hide from the world  in times of stress, however, it becomes a defense when the person is not aware of their behavior. Some people prone to depression tend to regress into a helpless role after conflict with their partner. 

Conclusion

Some defenses can be helpful, but they can also be harmful. Therapy helps people understand what they are trying to achieve from their defenses and what they are trying to protect by using them.